thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
