you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Green mimosas i think yes
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
