Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
