there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
