I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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