i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
