He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
