just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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