I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
