i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
What a dumb baby whore.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
