I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
