So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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