For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
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