The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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