I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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