ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
