the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
