Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
