so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
