Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
