he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
You pole danced in your parka.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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