Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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