i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
