Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
