dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Randomize
