i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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