you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
