I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
