nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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