It's Friday. Sex?
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
