Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
