The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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