He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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