Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
