id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
