Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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