Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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