We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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