I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
