sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
