the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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