White coat. Heels.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
