went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
