Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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