he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Randomize
