i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
last night I used snow as a chaser
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
