i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
