I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
