whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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