Walk of Shame today included voting.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
