I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
