They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
