Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just found puke in my bra..
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I party with great urgency now.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
